There’s a commercial that has been running for the past few weeks that makes me furious and sad, in equal measure. It is a woman who, with perfectly timed tears, explains how the upcoming year will be different for her. She tells how something that has plagued her for years will no longer be a problem, how happy she will be now that the problem is solved, and how much she hopes other people like her can find the same relief and hope she has.
It sounds like a great ad. It would be, except for what it is selling.
It’s selling The Fantasy of Being Thin. It’s selling the idea that someone must of course be unhappy if she’s fat, and that we should all “call Jenny” in order to make our lives better by, of course, being thinner.
This New Year’s day, when I woke up, I didn’t think about my weight either, and not because I’m thin. I didn’t think about my weight because I have learned three important things over the past year — how to stop hating my body, how many more important things there are to think about besides weight, and just how much time and energy is spent by people trying to sell us all on the erroneous idea that thin=good and fat=bad so that we will buy their products.
I’m new to body acceptance and health at every size, and I will confess, some days are better than others. There are still moments when I look at my size 26 body in the mirror and am tempted to think that surely my life would be better/easier/happier if I were thinner. Thankfully I have to the truth, specifically that my happiness and my quality of life are more about how I choose to live and think about the world than the shape of my belly and thighs, and beauty comes in many forms besides the ones in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
I suppose I have something in common with that buy-a-diet spokesperson — this year there will be no resolution to lose weight. I resolve to live a good life. I resolve to fight bigotry and hatred and ignorance and evil with every tool and skill and resource I have. I resolve to do everything I can, every moment I can, to make an impact on my world. Fortunately, none of those involve a call to Jenny.
I was reading something yesterday about health and am reminded of what I tell most of my clients who come to me wanting to lose weight. It’s so important for us to be happy and healthy RIGHT NOW – no matter what we look like or feel like or how we fit in or don’t fit in. Because no matter what your body shape is (and I would say that some of the same ideas plague very thin people like me), if you aren’t willing to accept your body right now, then you won’t be happy or able to accept it when you reach whatever goal or ideal you set for yourself (or the media sets for you).
So then I ask my clients, “What can you do today, right now, to add to your health and happiness for today?” How can you reach that ideal feeling of health today by the decisions you make for yourself right now and not wait for some indefinite time in the future when you reach some ideal that someone else sets for you…
Whew – apparently this is a soapbox for me.
I’m so glad to hear of your resolutions and acceptance of yourself – that’s real beauty, and so rare.
Right ON, sister!!!
hi…this is my first reply…I read your words about selling the illusion of … It’s disgusting how companies try to sell happiness…I’m going through a period of non-acceptance. I’ve even thought in taking pills…but at the end my lazyness takes me over…is strange.
Well…from here..Chile…see you.