Despite conventional wisdom to the contrary, it’s not money. The real root of all evil is advertising.
I have never been a fan of commercials and ad campaigns, since their basic purpose is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you buy crap you don’t really need. I am thankful every day for my DVR with it’s magical ability to fast forward past them, but it is impossible to avoid them all, and there are three playing constantly at the moment that make my blood boil.
First came the ads with that overly perky I-had-a-hit-show-in-the-seventies-and-now-I-am-the-star-of-many-many-Lifetime-movies has-been starlet schlepping a diet plan based on eating entirely manufactured foods (Chicken Carbonara!) in precisely the amounts your personal diet nazi nutrition counselor tells you to, thereby ensuring that the very minute you go back to eating your own food or God forbid, go to a birthday party and eat an oreo in a moment of absolute rebellion (the horror!), you will immediately gain back every ounce you lost plus 10 pounds more. The plan is brilliant — if it doesn’t work, the company can just insist that you must have cheated, plus they already have your money, so why should they care? If it does work, they have made a customer for life, since the minute you leave the fold, the weight will come back at the speed of light. You can almost hear the diabolical laughter behind said starlet’s preening.
You know that skeezy guy in bars who uses the non-pickup pickup approach? The one who talks about how much he hates the whole bar scene, how everyone is so shallow, how much he wants to find something “real” and wouldn’t you rather go someplace more private to hook up talk? Apparently that guy is doing the ad campaigns for Weight Watchers now, because that is their whole approach. Don’t you hate the way diets don’t work? *wink* Diets are so mean. *strokes hand* It’s a good thing you met me, I’m different. Really. Want to come back to my place and see how different I am?
As if those weren’t enough, tonight I saw a new one that blew my mind. It’s for Alli, the re-invented used to be prescription now over the counter diet drug that makes you crap your pants. The format of the commercial is a few women IMing and discussing Alli. OK concept, hilarious (in an ironic sort of way) conversation, all about how fabulous Alli is and glossing right over those pesky side effects. I have spent way more than my fair share of time on IM, and I can tell you exact how that conversation would really go…
Me: What’s up?
Chick taking Alli: I started taking Alli.
Me: How’s that going?
CTA: I bought new pants.
Me: Oh, you lost that much weight already?
CTA: Nope, I crapped all my pants, and that oily stuff doesn’t come out.
Me: Oh. That sucks.
CTA: Yep. I’m a dumbass, plus I am out $50 for the pills and I spent $150 on new pants.
Me: Dude, that REALLY sucks.
CTA: Oh well, I should be getting a tax refund soon.
This is so true. I hate commercials, whether they’re about diets that don’t work, car insurance, or that damned mop one. I think my tv is getting really tired of my yelling and sarcasm every time one comes on (I know DH is…..lol). I either ignore them now, or mute them (can’t afford DVR yet).
This is so awesome. I want to make it a video.
The LOVE of money is the root of all evil, I’m sorry but it drives me up the wall when people misquote this.
I swear I have literally said to people that marketing is the root of all evil!! I totally agree, and have been spending a lot of time deep breathing trying to avoid hurling all over the print ads and billboards and my television screen. Ugh.
That Alli commercial is SO weasely, too – “I think Alli works in your digestive system, so it won’t mess with your heart or anything or make you feel jittery…” You’ll just have to wear diapers. But they’ll be *smaller* diapers!
The expression goes “The love of money is the root of all evil” not “money is the root of all evil”
Actually, madames Indogo and Wriggles, 1 Timothy 6:10 says “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil”, a fact of which I am well aware. I was talking about conventional wisdom, which often says money is the root of all evil, and which is even more often wrong.
This is great!!! Your Alli commercial has me cracking up IN PUBLIC. And… it’s funny (say it with me) “because it is true”.
I had to add on the annoying commercial front, what about the infomercial ones that begin with the sepia image of the attractive women at her wits end doing an ever so common household chore, like chop onions or make cookies, only to have an “as seen on tv” product bring the color and ease back into her existence. I get the remote rage when those things come on.
Great post. Loving your writing! -mp
wow! great post. you are a hundred percent right!
Great post! (Even though so many thought they had to correct you…lol) Oh gosh, will I get hate comments now? Hope you have a great day!