On my last post, Atlanta Kane wrote:
It really isn’t realistic to pretend that being fat is ok. You might not be as fat as some, but why is it an issue you feel a need to blog about if it is such a trivial thing? Do you really think that every person who doesn’t find fat to be appealing is lacking in character? Do you really think that most fat people are far from honest about their weight? The troll might not be very polite, but some of his points are valid, most fat people do tend to blame anything but themselves for their weight, then, although they don’t like it themselves, object to others who don’t like it either. Why is it such an issue in the media? Are they all trolls too? Why are medical insurance premiums increasing? You are doing the same thing, hiding from reality and blaming others for your failings. If you are having so much difficulty losing weight, try praying for a change. God will help you build the resolve to stick to a diet and keep up exercise. When was the last time you went to church? It is a funny thing, but not many really fat people attend church, maybe there is a lesson in that. Think about it. Atlanta
I started to respond in a comment, but my response got long, and so many of the things she brought up deserved to be addressed, that I thought I would take it up a notch.
AK isn’t really a troll. She’s sort of a troll, but not full-fledged. She’s not nearly as obnoxious as some, and she strikes me as genuinely concerned and not just evil. She’s a troll-let.
First of all, no one in the FA movement is pretending anything. Fat IS OK, just like short is ok, tall is ok, blonde is ok…do I need to go on? That opinion isn’t coming off the top of our heads, it’s based on thought and research and study and analysis. It’s obviously not a super-popular viewpoint, and it’s not the kind of thing one just picks up off the street.
I’m not sure what she means by “as fat as some” — I’m not as fat as some people, I am fatter than others. So is every other person in the whole world.
Fat acceptance is not trivial at all, because there are people out there who believe strongly that fat is so un-ok that they think fat people deserve to be maligned, mistreated, abused, and discriminated against. That is why I write about FA — because injustice pisses me off. I get just as ticked off about other injustices, and I fight some of those in other ways. I choose to blog about FA because it is pretty dear to my heart, since it is the form of hatred I have most often experienced.
Someone’s personal preferences are not generally a matter of character. I am not particularly attracted to blond guys, and that is not a reflection on whether I am a good person. What is is if I start saying “OMG blond people are disgusting and stupid and they don’t deserve to be treated like human beings” and insisting everyone else share my preference, that is reflective of my lack of character.
KA is right, there are lots of fat people out there who hate themselves, and I will tell you a secret — it’s because we have been told to our whole lives. Women who grow up in highly misogynistic cultures often believe they are worthless, because that is how they have been taught. Children of abusive parents grow up to marry abusers because they think, on some level, that they deserve to be abused. It is exceptionally difficult for people to move beyond the heart lessons they learn from their families and the culture around them.
I hate to burst your bubble, but the vast majority of fat people do blame themselves for their weight, even if they find out there is a definable medical reason for it. Once again, it is the power of long-term messages — we are all told, over and over and over, ad nauseum, that all it takes to lose weight is hard work and willpower. The truth is, it is the rare fat person who hasn’t tried over and over to lose weight. Many fat people have self-control that would make a monk envious.
Why is it such an issue in the media? Well, call me a conspiracy theorist, but I would say it is because there is a 50-billion dollar per year juggernaut determined to keep obesity panic going, never mind the costs to people’s dignity and health. Medical insurance premiums are increasing because of the increasingly litigious culture we live in and the rising prices of pharmaceuticals. Blaming a major economic change on one group of people is exceptionally short-sighted and simplistic.
I hate to burst your bubble again, but I am far from hiding from reality. I look at myself every day in the mirror. I buy my clothes, so I know what size I wear. I work out, so I know exactly how far I can run, how long I can pushmow without taking a break, the ache in my arms after a 90 minute dance class, and how much weight I can lift. I buy my food, so I know how much I eat. I am not blaming anyone for anything except their own ignorance and asshattery.
The biggest difference between me and KA? I don’t think being fat is a failure, because I don’t think being thin is something to achieve. I was once told that depression happens when you choose to make a goal out of something you can’t control. There are lots of goals that can be achieved — running a certain distance, learning to cook, getting a degree — but being thin isn’t a good goal, since the majority of body composition is determined by genetics.
I’m not having difficulty losing weight, because I am not trying. I am trying to learn to accept myself, and love myself, and push past the barriers that my culture has set up that tell me I do not deserve to live a full life because of my body. It is a difficult road, but worthwhile.
It’s really the last bit of the comment that made me give it its own post; that God-and-fat connection that is so ubiquitous in some circles. There’s a story in the Gospels about a blind man Jesus healed. The disciples asked Him who sinned, the man or his parents. That question seems strange to us now, because we know the medical reasons behind blindness, but in first century Judea, it was assumed that if you were poor or diseased, you must have done something to make God angry. That’s why the Beatitudes were so revolutionary — Jesus was saying that the people deemed “unblessable” by the culture of the time were blessed by God. There is more than a bit of that kind of judgement in this last statement — fat people must not be good Christians, or they would not be fat. I question how many churches KA has been to, and how much time she has spent looking for “really” fat people. I attend a church with a congregation of about 700, which is not a mega church but still pretty big, and the distribution of fat people there is pretty typical of the demographic of people who attend. It’s sad that Christians can be the most judgmental and misogynistic people, and they do it all thinking they are speaking for God.
I have not gone longer than three weeks without going to church since I was born. I went to a Christian college. I spent about 20 years praying for God to help me be thin, but instead he chose to heal me of the sin of self-hatred that had consumed me all that time, and I sincerely believe he led me to the FA movement. I think His way was better.
And KA, FYI, as of this minute, it has been 43 hours, 32 minutes since I was in church.
Oh, FFS. I so wish Liz Curtis Higgs’ One Size Fits All…And Other Fables was still in print. Higgs, who identifies as a Christian and wrote this book for a Christian publisher, had a great passage on how she started a diet club in her church when she was fresh from weight loss and had no clue about the rightness of size acceptance. “It simply was not Biblical,” she said, and gave some pretty good explanations as to why. Among them: There is nothing derogatory in the Bible about fat itself. About gluttony, sure, but gluttony is considered a completely separate issue from weight; it is frowned upon chiefly because when people stuff themselves they tend to become drowsy and unable to function.
And “not many really fat people attend church” is just plain silly. As is the idea that diet and exercise alone determine weight.
And yes, media that encourage fat hate are all trolls, too. Ever hear of “pleasing advertisers”? There are vested financial interests — billions of dollars worth in them — umbilically dependent upon a majority of the population hating their bodies and thinking they (or their children) are too fat.
But you knew that.
I spent about 20 years praying for God to help me be thin, but instead he chose to heal me of the sin of self-hatred that had consumed me all that time, and I sincerely believe he led me to the FA movement. I think His way was better.
AMEN!!!
It disgusts me how people want to create a connection between God’s love and the size of your jeans. This kind of talk only leads to really bad things.
Thanks so much for this post. It was fantastic.
Great post. I admit, I haven’t heard the “fat people need to go to church” argument before, but I love your response. As far as I’m concerned, there are a whole lot of people that Jesus would never condemned, but some of his followers do. Real Christianity is about love and acceptance. Anyway, this whole post resonated with me.
Way to go, girl! I am proud to call you a friend and a fellow sister in Christ. May the Lord continue to bless you with the wisdom and insight to heal all the wounds of your past. He is working diligently in your heart and mind, giving you a voice that is true and strong.
loves!
stephanie
Fat people don’t go to church? That one is just too ridiculous to take seriously.
Okay, this fat lady doesn’t go to church. I don’t because I don’t happen to believe in the teachings of any church. But before I came to that conclusion, I attended services at a number of different churches espousing a variety of different creeds, both Christian and otherwise. At every single one of these houses of worship there was one truth: believers came in all shapes and sizes.
And a true Christian would know that Jesus’ base message was one of love, acceptance, and forgiveness. If He had been about exclusion, He would never have spent so much time preaching to and interacting with the poor, criminals, prostitutes, and other social outcasts.
I may not believe in the divinity of Jesus, but I do understand what He stood for, which is more than can be said for this particular ‘good Christian.’
Oh, and Jesus wasn’t big on assuming that people are useless/lazy/deluded/unhygenic/or whiny based solely on their figures. This person needs to remove that there plank from her eye before she moves on to dealing with my mote of dust.
Yeah, well this fat chick doesn’t go to church because she’s an atheist ; )
But, I was plenty fat when I attended a Baptist church in my childhood. In fact, there was a big lady with an operatic voice. Man, did she know how to belt out some hymns!
And my fat sister attends church and is home schooling her kid with Christian teachings.
“Why are medical insurance premiums increasing?”
It’s lazy thinking to blame fat people, now isn’t it? But we all know thin people don’t get sick.
Fat people go to church and do lots of other things. But churches can become hostile environments for fat people when they (churches) get caught up in the diet mentality and believe the myth that fat people get that way through lack of self-control, or gluttony. That is certainly one reason why “very fat people” would possibly avoid church. Not because of any moral failing. Plus, pews can be quite uncomfortable places for anyone.
Atlanta, there’s *nothing* in the bible that I’ve ever seen about dieting. There are sometimes fasts (which are not related to weight), and there are *lots* of feasts, but no diets. Reduction diets are disordered, they’re starvation-level calories, and fat people can exercise too. God isn’t telling people to go on reduction diets, I’m sorry. He really isn’t. And I’m a Christian and I can definitely point out a thousand things that contradict the very idea. You might want to check out Ad Imaginum Dei (I probably have the name wrong) which is a bible-discussing fat blog. All the references in the bible about fat are pretty much very very good. There is the thing about stuffing your face at communion, but that had nothing at all to do with people’s weight – just as being fat has nothing to do with whether someone is gluttonous or has self-control.
AK you really have a lot of research to do. Fat IS all right, OK, fine, etc. It’s not a moral failing, and it’s not indicative of a moral failing. It’s a body type – and God put people on earth of many body types. You’re going to have to deal with that, and with your ingrained prejudice. Or at least you should.
Also, she really needs to check out this guy. His name is Rance Allen, he’s a huuuuge dude, and not only will his voice blow you away, I bet he’s been to church pretty damn recently!
Glargh, I think my linky didn’t work, try this.
It was the bit about church that just made me go “WHAAAAAAAT????? That was so left field I was flabbergasted. If Atlanta goes to church she must go to one with narrow doors, so that the fat people can’t get in.
I’m pretty sure Jesus died for all, not just thin people.
I’m responding to this as if it’s not a joke, becuase to be honest, it’s hard to tell.
There has been more than one study stating that some strains of religion have a greater than average level of fatness, apparently this is because it isn’t properly preached against from the pulpit. Indeed this has led a lot of atheists to use fatness to insult the religious.
It seems that the haters just point at anything they don’t like or whatever they want to get off their chest as what is causing fat, whilst of course accusing us of excuses. I think we can take for granted that they don’t actually know.
‘because’ sorry.
I always find it disturbing when people who claim to be Christian show so little acceptance and love for the people around them. Christ certainly wouldn’t have been the one insulting and shaming fat people or trying to starve them any more than he rejected other people that society turned away.
I hope to someday have that deep sense of self-acceptance that you have…and in the meantime, I enjoy reading these posts and experiencing some of that confidence through you!
“It is a funny thing, but not many really fat people attend church, maybe there is a lesson in that. Think about it.”
Hmm- perhaps the lesson here is that my Church isn’t doing enough to share the Good News of God’s abiding love for them with fat people?
Thank you for answering this foolishness with a loving and gracious interpretation of Scripture- I wish that more of your approach was evident in the public discourse about faith, and less of KA’s.
D’oh. you knew who I meant.
I’ve seen some really stupid trolls, but Atlanta takes the cake (mmm, cake). So now fat people are so immoral because of their weight, they avoid church? That’s got to be the dumbest reason for fat hate ever. And if AK were a TRUE Christian, he/she wouldn’t be judging anyone. Hypocrite, I say.
The trolls have been shot down so many times, now they’re pulling excuses to degrade us out of their asses.
“Indeed this has led a lot of atheists to use fatness to insult the religious.”
In defense of myself, that is uncalled for. I’m an atheist, and I could care less about what size people are. I’m quite large myself! I’ve dedicated a large part of my blog to call out those who discriminate against people based on weight. It’s just plain wrong. And it’s downright cowardly to use religion as an excuse to hate fat people, like the troll here!
As for religious people being more “fat,” it probably has to do with the large amount of African-Americans who attend church. They are more likely to be “obese,” according to studies done by “concerned” medical professionals.
You certain responded with much more grace than I would’ve been able to muster! I laughed heartily at her thinly veiled “fat people don’t believe in God” thing. Talk about faulty logic.
Thank you for posting this separately. I loved it. Very well written. You said a lot of what I’ve been thinking lately.
[...] It deserved its own post. On my last post, Atlanta Kane wrote: It really isn’t realistic to pretend that being fat is ok. You might not be as [...] [...]
What a beautiful reply! Your response made me again realize why I consider myself spiritual but not religious.
The central tenant of Jesus’ teachings is LOVE. Love of self, and love of others is the message, not harsh judgment of someone’s perceived imperfections that must be “fixed.”
Somewhat related–has anyone read the YA novel “Thinner Than Thou”? On the one hand, I hesitate to recommend it, because the author’s attitude isn’t entirely fat-friendly. But she does zero in on the connection between dieting and judgmental religion and creates a society in which dieting and health becomes the national religion.
That’s what is known as a concern-troll. Let it go back under its bridge.
So, fat people don’t attend church? Is that because The God Diet (TM) works where all others fail? Or is it because fat people are evil satanists who scream and thrash like Damian whenever we get near a church?